Help my Japanese television has spilled over into my grocery shopping! While the broken down husk of TechTv, otherwise known as G4TV, has co-opted shows such as Sasuke (under the banner of “Ninja Warrior“) and Fox is busy making their own “Hole in the Wall“ how can anyone forget the travesty that is Iron Chef America?
Not easily. In an effort to further subsidize and destroy the love I have for the original Iron Chef (Ryōri no Tetsujin) my local supermarket has stocked this item:
WHY!?
-Ataru
Yes, Anime Is Everywhere
The other day I was taking a tour through the interior of a nondescript windowless building, when all the sudden I was surrounded by a wall of sex toys. This is important to note because I thought I was at a YMCA. Boy, was I wrong!
Behold, the “KOCHI” - a marvel of sexual and technological wonderment. Get it? It is possible something got slightly lost in translation Kochi = Kuchi (くち), which means mouth.
Let’s break down the features of this space-age product shall we?
- “Solid Head with sucking action mouth!” (What, are they selling a G.I. Joe?)
- “Usable pussy, ass and mouth!” (Umm.. Where the hell are the pussy and ass?! Is it on the back side of her head?)
- “Kochi the Asian Fantasy Girl. Her beautiful eyes will captivate you as she pleasures you with her supple mouth and entices you with her tight pussy and ass. Show her who’s boss as your fill her every hole with you massive rod… she’s always willing. Blow up Kochi and let her blow you away! Sayonara!” (Wow, I see what you did there. You told me I have a massive rod and therefore I must buy your product!)
All this can be had for the very low-low one time price of $125.95. Hey with today’s economy that’s like two tanks of gas. Why drive somewhere when you can fuck a googly eyed prostetic head?
But all of this is nothing compared to the actual face of this abomination. JUST LOOK AT IT! Can’t you hear it yelling “HEEEEEY YOOOOU GUUUUYZ!” I don’t know about you, but I like the things that my penis potentially goes into not to look like a Goonies character.
-Ataru
Years ago I purchased a Sony DSR-PD170 . It’s a 3 chip DV camera great for shooting music videos, conventions and the such. Of interest to my listeners: the package actually came with some pretty awesome batteries.
-Ataru
