The Creepiest Anime Sex-Toy you’ll see all week

Yes, Anime Is Everywhere

The other day I was taking a tour through the interior of a nondescript windowless building, when all the sudden I was surrounded by a wall of sex toys. This is important to note because I thought I was at a YMCA. Boy, was I wrong!

Behold, the “KOCHI” - a marvel of sexual and technological wonderment. Get it? It is possible something got slightly lost in translation Kochi = Kuchi (くち), which means mouth.

Let’s break down the features of this space-age product shall we?

• “Solid Head with sucking action mouth!” (What, are they selling a G.I. Joe?)
• “Usable pussy, ass and mouth!” (Umm.. Where the hell are the pussy and ass?! Is it on the back side of her head?)
• “Kochi the Asian Fantasy Girl. Her beautiful eyes will captivate you as she pleasures you with her supple mouth and entices you with her tight pussy and ass. Show her who’s boss as your fill her every hole with you massive rod… she’s always willing. Blow up Kochi and let her blow you away! Sayonara!” (Wow, I see what you did there. You told me I have a massive rod and therefore I must buy your product!)

All this can be had for the very low-low one time price of $125.95. Hey with today’s economy that’s like two tanks of gas. Why drive somewhere when you can fuck a googly eyed prostetic head?

But all of this is nothing compared to the actual face of this abomination. JUST LOOK AT IT! Can’t you hear it yelling “HEEEEEY YOOOOU GUUUUYZ!”  I don’t know about you, but I like the things that my penis potentially goes into not to look like a Goonies character.

-Ataru